par·a·noi·a

INTRODUCTION postsecret:

Boy do I wish writing. I mean, it's not even the writing itself. It's finding the time to just sit and think and write. Take this for example...second entry of the day. Fourth if you include my two other entries for Experience, Inc. It's madness I tell ya, and I'm loving every single minute of it.

I asked the roomskis a couple of minutes ago how they'd describe paranoia. There was a brief silence in the room so I just followed up my question with: "Oh, are you guys busy? It's okay, you don't have to answer my question" followed by a longer moment of silence. I took the hint. Hence this moment in time. I wanted them to describe it without actually defining it.

Ven: "Are you blogging?"
Mon: "No, I'm just thinking."
Suni: (completely ignores Ven & Mon)

Yahoo!'s definition:

par·a·noi·a

NOUN:

1. A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution with or without grandeur, often strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.
2. Extreme, irrational distrust of others.

Analysis:
I'm that kid who thinks that other people don't like her and who other people think don't like them and go on with their lives not knowing that they really all did like each other but was just that paranoid to ever say or do anything about it. I think way ahead of myself, and everyone else, and the present and focus so strongly on the future...I never let it happen. It's funny, really, how my mind works. It's a defense-mechanism really. This-this...obscure personality trait of mine.

I don't get it, either. But it's all I've got. So either you deal, or no deal. That is the name of the game...

Currently listening: "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn & John